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Fantasy players we already regret drafting
New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski has been quiet for fantasy owners so far this season. Bob DeChiara-USA TODAY Sports

Fantasy players we already regret drafting

Fantasy football season is under way and is roughly one-third of the way complete depending on how your league does playoffs. This means there has been ample time to look at your squad and either gloat about how wonderful your team is or it means you drafted some of the names below and you’re cursing yourself and vowing to never draft a Texan ever again. (Why would you in the first place? It's the Texans.)   

If you drafted one of these guys, you’re probably thinking about giving up playing fantasy all together because your team is always snake-bitten. I’d venture to guess you also drafted LaDanian Tomlinson in 2009 when he had his first season under 1,000 yards rushing. Or maybe you drafted Tony Romo any of the years he’s broken down and ruined your fantasy team. 

Basically, I get it. You get teased by all the other members of your league, your team can’t seem to produce at even an acceptable level, and you think maybe, just maybe, Jesus doesn’t love you anymore and your mom was lying when she told you that you were capable of doing anything you put your mind to.   

All of those things said, let’s take a look at these key fantasy position underperformers and rub a little salt in those wounds.

Wide receivers 

The leading wide receiver (based on ESPN’s standard scoring) has 72 points. That number belongs to Antonio Brown, so if you drafted him, you’re likely pretty thrilled. However, I’m not here to build you up, buttercup.   

How many of you drafted Brandin Cooks? Like me you probably thought that this Saints team was going to have to throw the ball all over the place because their defense was going to be garbage. The good news is, you’re right – the Saints defense is atrocious giving up 423 yards and 32.5 points a game. The bad news? Brandin Cooks has 12 catches, 112 yards and zero touchdowns in his past three games combined. Week 1 had Brandin Cooks owners feeling excited with six catches for 143 yards and two touchdowns which was good for 27 points.   

Okay, so you avoided Brandin Cooks and decided to go with Alshon Jeffery, right?  You’re so much smarter than the rest of those people you drafted against. Oh wait, he still plays for the Bears. He still has Jay Cutler as a quarterback. I'm sorry, HAD Jay Cutler as a quarterback. Now with Brian Hoyer playing catch with Alshon, except... he’s not. Alshon has been consistent, it’s just been consistently bad. He hasn’t hit pay dirt yet and he’s only broken the century mark once. He has games of nine, seven, four, and nine points outside of week one where he got his only double digit game of the season. 

Fine. You took a sure fire bet in the top three after Julio Jones and Antonio Brown were both gone... Odell Beckham Jr.! You remember that one handed catch, right? He’s played in this offense for a couple years and he and Eli are going to be on the same page. There’s no way he won’t help you win this season! Oh. He’s only got 40 points? Well, he must have a bunch of touchdowns! One? Just one? Damn. Okay, well then he has to have multiple 100+ yard games! Oh, one of those too? Gosh. Outside of his touchdown last week and his 112 yards in week three, he has weeks of seven, eight, and two points. Yikes.   

Alright. There is no way DeAndre Hopkins isn’t going to produce! Did you see him last year? And that was with SCRUBS at the quarterback position! Yep! Brock Osweiler is going to come in and make a difference, you could just feel it, right? If you haven’t caught the theme of this piece yet, you’re wrong. I know exactly what you’re thinking, “Wait, Jamie! You don’t know what you’re talking about! Hopkins has three games with a touchdown and he broke 100 yards in one of those games!” You’re right. He’s also almost 30 points behind Antonio Brown for the lead and he’s chasing Marvin Jones, Sammie Coates, Eddie Royal and the other name in Houston, Will Fuller. There is no way you thought any of those names were going to be ahead of Hopkins when this season started, be honest. 

Running Backs 

David Johnson leads running backs in the NFL with 92 points. The Arizona running back is exactly what you hoped he’d be if you drafted him. He’s scored double digit points every week this season and has two weeks where he’s scored two touchdowns. So who is underperforming to a degree where they make this list and make their owners question their drafting abilities? 

Todd Gurley dropped two touchdowns on the Buccaneers, but outside of that he has been relatively quiet. Buffalo held him to 72 yards but he did find the end zone last weekend. The issue isn’t with those two games, the issue is with the fact that he put up four points against the Niners, six points against Seattle, and seven points against Arizona. Granted, those are all division rivals who know how to play him and the Rams, but he was certainly a first round pick and he’s almost been doubled up by David Johnson. 

Another primary cog on the Texans is refusing to pull his weight. You probably reached a bit on Lamar Miller because there was a run on running backs and you refused to go with a zero running back strategy despite reading several pieces that suggested it. That reach has cost you in a pretty significant way, especially when you have to throw Miller in one of your two starting running back spots. You might have gotten lucky and drafted Tevin Coleman or Isaiah Crowell so you can throw Miller in your flex spot, but that doesn’t change the fact that you wasted that pick. Miller has double-digit points in three weeks this season, but he also dropped a two spot this week against the Minnesota Vikings. He has no idea what the end zone in Houston looks like, but maybe he is just trying to make sure that Osweiler doesn’t take all the blame. 

There won’t be any fat jokes in this column when referencing Eddie Lacy. It’s too easy. It’s mean. It’s been done. Everyone has made a joke about the fact that this running back doesn’t run. That said, Lacy can’t seem to locate the end zone either. It’s a shame because we’ve seen Lacy drop double-digit touchdowns and clear 1,000 yards rushing twice in his career and yet, here we sit, heads in our hands frustrated that he’s only cleared double-digit points once this season. Eddie, listen to me. This team needs your help. No, not the Packers – my team, Antonio Frown (I really wanted Antonio Brown, but I wasn’t paying $71 in my auction draft so I took Lacy and Odell instead). Can you please, please, please figure out how to play this position again and contribute to our teams lacking success? 

Jordan Howard may have taken the starting gig in Chicago from Jeremy Langford, even after Langford comes back from his ankle injury. He’s dropped double digit points in the past two weeks and looked pretty comfortable in his starting role last weekend. Langford on the other hand, had 11 points in week one thanks to a touchdown and dropped six and four in the next two weeks before going out with an injury. Sure, Langford wasn’t a first round pick, but you certainly didn’t draft him thinking he wasn’t going to be the starter, especially with a full offseason practicing as the number one in Chicago. He has 21 points so far this season and he may not get many more given how Howard is dominating that role. 

Thomas Rawls has six points. Six. Points. Seis. Puntos. With what Rawls did last year, it seemed inevitable that he would be the RB1 in Seattle, but Christine Michael is a pesky little bugger and doesn’t seem to want to let Rawls take the reigns. Rawls is injured (again) and will likely miss the month of October before he is fully healed. The good news? He might be healthy enough that you can use him in the playoffs should your team get there. The bad news? That’s a lot of time for Michael to stake his flag in the starting spot and not give it up. Luckily for Rawls, Michael has yet to take full advantage of his opportunity, but he does have three touchdowns in his last two games. 

Tight ends 

Rob Gronkowski. Everyone’s favorite party animal has exactly 11 points this season. The best part about that sad fact is that 10 of them came last week against the Browns – the first game where he didn’t seem to be a decoy and the first game he got to play with Tom Brady who returned from his four game suspension. Unless something else horrific happens this season, he will probably still end the season at the top of the tight end points list, but that doesn’t mean his absence didn’t cripple your team, especially if you took him in the first round (which all of you did). I saw him go fifth overall in one league, granted, the guy who took him is a Patriots fan and a mediocre fantasy player at best. His team is 0-5 and deservedly so, but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t have won a couple games had Gronk been fully healthy from Week 1. 
So yes, your team may suck. And yes, you may have made some bad decisions. But that happens to a lot of people every year. Don’t despair. Hit the waiver wire, grab Tevin Coleman, Jordan Howard, or Will Fuller and upgrade those positions! Trade away Lacy, Gurley, and Hopkins for A.J. Green and a candy bar! Or, if those aren’t viable options, check your lineup, start the best team you can every week, and go spend some quality time with your partner – you know you aren’t going to be stressing about your fantasy team anyways.

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