Week 6 in college football as explained by R.E.M.

This is what the nation had been waiting for. The late-game magic of the Tennessee Volunteers couldn't last for two overtime periods, and they ended up falling to a Texas A&M squad that seemed determined to give Tennessee chances to win at every turn. More important to us, however (unless you're a fan of Tennessee) is what we learned from the game: if your team isn't playing, and Tennessee is, for the love of god, watch the Tennessee game. You can waste your time on the other games, but Tennessee games are the nearest to being alive. So take your chances on the Vols. Their games, win or lose, haven't disappointed yet, from last-second forced fumbles to desperation Hail Marys and beyond.

Brian Kelly Throws His Center Under The Bus: Bang And Blame

Okay, Coach Kelly, we get it. You're frustrated, and probably feeling a whole lot of pressure from Notre Dame fans who aren't particularly thrilled when the Fighting Irish loses to NC State. Yes, it's been an insanely disappointing season, but that's not an excuse to call out your starting center and call his play "atrocious." And yes, Sam Mustipher had trouble snapping the ball, but at least part of that might have to do with, you know, the fact that he had to snap the ball in a hurricane. Don't point your finger, Kelly. That's not his thing, so let it go. Oh, and by the way, while you're doing that, maybe explain to your fans why in the world you called 36 pass plays in these conditions. Maybe that had something to do with the loss, but that's none of my business.

#20 Oklahoma def. Texas: Orange Crush

Well, this is it. This game was the last chance for Charlie Strong in Texas, and after he couldn't get the job done despite scoring 40 points in the Red River Rivalry game, it would take a miracle for the team to collar him (don't collar him) for next season, or even the rest of this one. Strong is feeling the crush of the orange faithful, and it now seems to be a question of when he'll be fired, not if.

Navy def. #6 Houston: It's The End Of The World (As We Know It)

 

Well that ended quickly. Right after convincing the nation that they were legitimate playoff contenders, Houston falls to Navy while team by team reporters baffled, trumped, tethered, cropped, scramble to revise their postseason predictions. It started with the earthquake of the Midshipmen's triple-option attack that led to over 300 yards on the ground, and though Lenny Bruce might not be afraid, Houston's snapper might have been, as he sailed a snap over his punter's head and through the end zone for a safety. Yes, it is truly the end of the Cougars' playoff hopes as we know them, but, to be frank, I don't really have any particular attachment to the team personally, so I feel fine.

#4 Michigan def. Rutgers, 78-0: Bad Day

If you didn't actually watch this game, you might think that this one doesn't need too much explaining. Michigan put up 78 points on the Scarlet Nights, who are bad, and Rutgers had a bad day. But somehow, it was worse than that score-line implies. In the first half, Rutgers managed six whole yards of total offense, and it didn't get much better in the second half, as they ended the game with only 39 yards. Rutgers averaged 0.9 yards per rushing attempt, and they ran the ball 36 times. The passing game was somehow even worse, with just two completed passes and five total yards through the air. I highly recommend you look at the stat line, because this was so much more than a bad day for Rutgers – it was an historic tragi-comedy in football form. And unfortunately for the Scarlet Knights, despite the fact that it's been a bad day, everyone was taking pictures.